Save Toby!

My friend led me to this site ages ago, and I had forgotten about it.

Save Toby!

I decided to check up on how Toby was doing....I think his "original" demise date was like June of this year... Apparently, that date has changed.

Now...maybe I'm demented (I know, I know...this is rhetorical), but i find this hilarious. If you have time, read his "Updates" section, and check out his hate mail. People take this WAAAAY too seriously.

Honestly, morons, i highly doubt he's serious. It's actually a BRILLIANT marketing plan! Who WOULDN'T want to save a hapless bunny?

Now, I have bunny issues, myself. My crazy sister-in-law (who i hate w/ the intensity of a thousand suns), decided one year to breed rabbits for food. Now, I can't kill animals...i feel bad if i hit a bird w/ my car. So, imagine how traumatized i was to walk into her kitchen, and see about 20 bunnies, lined up on her counter, splayed out, gutted, and partially skinned. Yeah, that was the stuff of nightmares.

Anyhow....for those that don't really deal w/ wildlife....Bunnies do not die quietly. THEY SCREAM LIKE PEOPLE!! Apparently, my crazy sister-in-law convinced my brother that the best way to kill a bunny was to bop it on the head w/ a baseball bat.

So, he tried it....

Well, he wasn't that good at it, to begin with. So, imagine how traumatized AGAIN i was, to be laying in bed, and hear what i assumed to be a PERSON being brutalized outside my bedroom window....

I swear, I'm surprised i don't need therapy...

Anyhow, even w/ all that....I don't worry for the safety of poor Toby.
I'm sure he'll be fine, and get to eat pesticide free carrots for the rest of his bunny-ish life....because his owner is going to make a fortune threatening to kill him.

I'm Officially An Idiot

So, we go to play poker at our friend's house, who lives a block or so away, at like 8:00 last night. The goal is to only stay a couple hours. It's a cash game, and there are some people who had never really played before, so we figured it would be a quick game.
Riiiiiiight......
So, martin had re-bought in about 5 times, and was completely busted out by about 12 am. He pouted his way home, and I had told him I'd probably be home soon after.
Riiiiight..... Apparently, I became in tune w/ some sort of inhuman "poker staying power" and played til about 4:30 in the morning. Then the two guys that were still playing, and i decided we probably should just pay out, and not bother waiting to see who won it all. We were getting to the point we couldn't remember what cards we had in our hands. *wait...let me look again.....wait....let me look again...*
Anyhow, me and the host were the only 2 people that had never bought back in all night, and we pretty much split the pot between us, so we consider ourselves the true winners, thank you very much.
So, anyhow, i stumbled back home and crashed, and somehow wound up waking up at 9 in the morning. So, yeah, nothing like 4 1/2 hours of sleep.
Now, you'd think martin would be all "4:30?? what the hell were you thinking??"
But, no... Not martin.
He's all "You got home at 4:30 and woke up at 9?? You're a trooper!!"
and then proceeds to tell me how proud he is of me, and how good i did.
haha...
He's insane, too.
Anyhow, apparently I have to drive in to Mac later to play Cranium w/ some other friends, because we promised them we would, last week.
Bah. I really need to use common sense, and just cash out earlier. But, no....i have to be ultra competitive, and have to prove myself to the boys...

Martin Is Insane!

So, he wakes up the other day, in full panic.
"WHAT TIME IS IT!!"
So, i say it's 5:36 am.
He says "WHY DIDN'T YOU WAKE ME UP?? I HAVE TO GO TO WORK RIGHT NOW!!"
I say, "at 5:36 in the morning?"
He is all "It's not 5:36. Show me the clock!"
I show him the clock.
He jumps up and runs into the livingroom. I hear the TV turn on to the TV Guide Channel. (to check the time)
He lumbers back into the bedroom.
"You're Right. I Apologize. Keep up the good work."
*thunk* *snore*

It's Official: Murphy Hates Us

Well....
I don't think there is a word that describes my last couple of weeks. At least not one that the english language has come up with, yet. The closest I can come to explaining it in a word, is "Armeggedon".

It all starts a couple days before my birthday. Martin got called in to work on a Saturday, for an emergency. He didn't get out until like 9 pm....so, on the way home, he gets caught in one of the "End of the Month Police Quota BS" pull-overs. Not that big of a deal, going 70 on the freeway. HOWEVER, apparently, w/o us realizing it, his Oregon driving privilidges had been suspended.

He has a Cali driver's license, so we had no idea about the Oregon stuff...he hasn't had an Oregon license in like 7 years. It was suspended for an uninsured accident before we moved out of Oregon, 7 years ago, but the suspension was lifted about 3 years ago, and he got his Cali license. (He couldn't get his cali license w/o that suspension being over w/.) Well, apparently, the insurance company decided we owed them more money, and re-suspended his license w/o notifying us.

Anyhow, since Martin was by himself, they towed my car. So, this was a Sat. Night, and I couldn't get my car back til the following Monday (My B-day).

So, my birthday consisted of spending $300 getting my car out of tow. Add to the fact Martin got a monster ticket, and we're down a couple thousand bucks.Hopefully, when he goes to court, the judge will feel pity on us...However, in the meantime, martin can't drive, and supposedly he can't get his license back til he pays the insurance company another 2k. (although, i think that's BS....he needs to talk to the judge. He should be able to get a hardship license). But, until that happens, i have to drive him to work, EVERY day, which is a 3 hour trip for me (there and back)...so 6 hours driving, every day.

Joy.

So, there was that, and that SHOULD be enough, but NOoooooo.....My OTHER car, which was parked in MY driveway of MY house, was tagged by the police, because it has expired cali tags (by like 2 months). I wasn't driving it, so i had dropped the insurance, so couldn't register it. So, fine. I put insurance back on it, and went to the DMV to get oregon plates. Well, they tell me that i need to bring the car in when i'm bringing a car in from out of state. Fine. I go to take the car in, and it doesn't start. We figure it's some battery/electrical thing, but we need to move the car from where it's at, otherwise the police will tow it. So, we move it to a friend's house, so we can take a look at it in the next few days. This all happened on Monday, the day i had to go get my other car out of tow, so it wasn't major priority for me...Well, the police tag it at my friend's house, THE SAME DAY WE MOVED IT.So, screw it. I just signed it over to the tow company....i don't even want to deal w/ that right now. So, I basically gave our 2nd car away...And you'd think THAT would be enough crap...but, NOoooo.......

The same weekend all this happens, my fridge decides to stop working. It is now HEATING UP the food inside it....so, basically, i can't keep food in the house, and we have to either go to the store when we need to eat, or eat fast food. And it's the middle of hot-ass summer, so i can't keep any cold drinks, either. Now, let's factor in that new fridge's cost around 1k to buy, and i don't even REMOTELY have that, after tow stuff, tickets, insurance crap, etc....So, i don't even know what to do there....and let's add this to the fact that my microwave broke like a month ago, and i never wanted to shell out the money for a new one. So, basically I have a stove....with only One burner that works.

Fine....anything else, Murphy?

Why yes...OF COURSE....So, yesterday, martin drives to our friend's...no biggie, it's a block away. He managed NOT to get pulled over, but he DID drive up on the curb in front of our friend's, and managed to pop the tire, by popping the sidewall. So, even though the tire should be covered by warrenty, i had to buy a new one, because the sidewall popping is not "normal wear and tear" on a tire.That was today....not sure what else will happen the rest of this week...but, i'm assuming it can't be good.

The Joys of Early Morning Wake Up Calls

I have a system.

I am used to the alarm going off to a nice, soothing white noise...partly because the station I usually listen to does not come in this far out of civilization. But, regardless, the white noise wakes me up sufficiently enough to be coherent enough to wake martin up when he needs to get up. Simple enough.

Well, Martin decided to mess w/ the alarm clock last night, unbeknownst to me. He changed the nice, soothing white noise to some Spanish station, and turned the volume up to like 50 decibles.

So, this morning, I'm in happy, happy dreamland, and get RIPPED out of it by "JESUSGONZALAZMARYJOSERODRIGUEZ.....AYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!"

Let me tell you, you don't know true terror 'til you get woken up from a nice, peaceful sleep, absolutely sure that there is a crazed Mariachi band in your bedroom! So, after I removed my fingernails from the ceiling, and returned back to the ground, I woke martin up, and am now awake.....AWAKE!

Bah.I realize it's been a while since I've posted. I am a slacker. Plus, being unable to go anywhere during the day, I don't have much to write about!! On a side note, Martin made it to Cali over that weekend. After I copied him over a direct quote from PDX's website, he finally believed me about the ID and convinced his mom to overnight mail it.

So, all was well...Anyhow, I promise to be more faithful about writing in this thing...for my friends that get on me every day to provide them w/ some entertainment....okay okay....I assume my role of court jester.

Thanks, but I Think I'll Take the Ice Cream...

There is something really wrong w/ a cake called the "Chocolate Molten Cake" with a hidden "Tunnel of Fudge".

I think I lost all appetite for chocolate cake for a lifetime.

Thanks, Boston Market.

"But, I'm Special...Rules Don't Apply to ME!!"

This is for Emily....who keeps asking me to POST A NEW BLOG ALREADY!!!

So, martin is supposed to fly to Cali this weekend and next to work at his mom's office, some computer stuff.In his drunken stupor the other night, he lost his license. Kinda' important to have ID when you fly. So, he calls his mom, to have her overnight his birth cert, so he can get a new ID.

Simple enough.

She, in turn, calls the AIRLINE in SACRAMENTO, to ask if he can use a faxed copy of his birth cert, and his work ID, which is photo. They say sure. Okay, fine for the Boarding Pass.

So, she doesn't mail the cert.

Now, anyone who's been to Sac airport knows it's NOT the biggest, most advanced airport in the world. Things that are OK at Sac, probably won't be kosher anywhere else.

But, I digress. She called the AIRLINE, not the AIRPORT. Security checkpoints at the airport require FEDERAL PHOTO ID. Not a faxed Birth Cert and a work ID. I mean, c'mon. Common sense. So, I try to express this, but no one listens to me.

I JUST FLEW ALL OVER THE WORLD IN JUNE. I know the process for getting to the plane. Plus, PDX's security is INSANE. They're like LAX, or something. They take it WAYYY seriously.

So, we're going to drive all the way to PDX, which is like 2 1/2 to 3 hours away, at night, to only have to turn all the way around again. I already know this. But, no one is paying attention to me over here in the corner. Barring some miracle, it's an exercise in futility.

But, what do I know?

AH, The Joys of Late Night Television

56 channels, and the only thing on at 2 am is Infomercials, and watching some idiot submerge himself in 20,000 leeches, to set a world record.

Moron.

Having your name in a book no one reads, is REALLY worth the blood loss.

Why am I up at 2 am, you ask? Well, banks are so great in telling you that things post at midnight, but if you're waiting to see what has or has not posted, you actually have to wait til about 3 am to find out the truth. 12 am, my ass.

Howard Stern....Oh good lord. How far do you have to search to find these people?? "World's Smartest Stripper". Um, yeah.
Question: "Where to Danish People Come From?"
Answer: "What are Danish People?"
Other Answer: "Germany?"
Question: "What does VCR stand for?"
Answer: "Video Tape Player?"

I'm sorry, they may look good naked, but I think I'd rather have brains.

The Importance of Brakes #2, and Why I Hate Car Jocks

Ok, so yesterday was the day from hell.

I had mentioned how my car needed brakes, and was in the shop, yes?

Well, apparently the idiots at Les Schwab had a defective part, and didn't fix it in time, so the car stayed overnight. Martin was stuck at work, and had a friend come get him. So, he stayed the night at his friends. In the course of that night, he lost my bankcard in a machine because he walked away while it was beeping at him to take it out, got drunk, went to sleep at 3 am, and didn't go to work the next day. So, he left my car up at the area of his work w/o anyway to pay for it, and was not in the area to pick it up, anyways.

So, my day STARTED out relatively uneventful, had to take the cat to the vet, supposed to pick him up at 4:30. So, after I find out the events of the night before, I'm a little PO'd, and call Les Schwab to see when I can go pick up my car. Somehow...They tell me, in a nutshell, it's still not done, they don't have the part, it's not their fault, so they won't give me a break on the price, and oh, you want to complain? *Click* here's the manager. Who tells me the same crap, but that the part is coming, and the car would be done around 1pm. Fine.

So, my friend drives an hour and a half to come get me, we go pick up martin, who I can't even talk to, I'm so mad, and drive to go get the car. Now, it's 3pm by the time we get to Les Schwab. We walk in....guess what? IT'S NOT DONE! They haven't got the part.So, I'm all "what happened to it being done at 1pm, and the part coming from Lake Oswego??"

"Well, I don't know why he told you that"

GAH! So, they say it will be done around 4. We go back to my friend's place, (luckily she lives close to the shop), and wait to call til 4:30. The car is STILL not done. The part they were getting at 4 was the wrong part, and they're "trying to make it work". So, martin, at this point, SCREAMS in the phone "I don't want to hear anymore excuses, GET IT DONE!" *click*So, they call at 5. Car's done. However, I'm a little worried about the "trying to make it work" comment. Am I driving on Jerry-Rigged brakes? Will I have to stop like Fred Flinstone? So, it's past 4:30. My poor cat has to stay the night at the vet. Poor thing. He becomes a Eunich, and gets stuck in a cage all night. He's going to be SOOO pissed at me.The world would be so much easier w/o men.

The Necessity of Brakes, and TV Addiction

So, my car has needed new brakes for about a week. It becomes blazingly apparent when you try to stop, and instead get a grinding noise that sounds like a jet engine just started inside your car. However, Martin deemed in necessary to drive all the way to portland and back for work w/ the jet engine noises, for the better part of a week.

Today, he decided to go get them fixed. The guys at the shop tell him that the rotor was nearly gone, because the LACK of a brake pad had been grinding it down for some time. To the point where nothing was really even gripping the rotor. It had worn so thin, it was in danger of breaking off completely, and exposing the vents. Had THAT happened, the wheel would've locked up, and the car would've flipped. Given he drives the freeway everyday, this probably would not have been a good thing. Again, I shake my head in wonder.

Anyhow, on to TV addiction. I admit it, I'm an American Idol junkie. Have been since the first season. (Although last season didn't impress me much. I wasn't a big Fantasia fan. The world only needs ONE Macy Gray.) There are some definate good singers this season, but then there are some people that are there based on personality alone, and listening to them is like fingernails on a chalkboard. It's a sad day for music when a guy who's in a Hard Rock band in real life, decides to sing a friggen' PARTRIDGE FAMILY song on Idol. What the hell? PARTRIDGE FAMILY??? The "Doctor Who" scarf he was wearing was a nice touch, too. ( I realize that most of you didn't have an older brother that subjected you to BBC Sci-Fi throughout the late 70's - 80's. So, I give you this link in comparison:

Dr. Who/Constantine

Anyhow, my vote to get booted this week is Mikhaela a.k.a. "even though i'm a 16 year old from Vegas, I really think I'm a 40 year old Streisand impersonator from Queens". Why is she even there in the 1st place?? She's NOT endearing. She annoys the hell out of me. It's that whole "I think I'm so precious. I'm a CHEERLEADER!! *bat bat of the eyelashes*" vibe. I want to pummel her over the head w/ a skateboard. Anyhow, she can't sing. The whole thing was flat, and in the wrong key. If anyone else gets booted, then apparently America LIKES mini Fran Drescher's. And I will promptly move to Canada.