Tire Porn

So, the tires on my car were total crap. Reeeeally bad. Car shaking, bad.

So, the other day, I went to the local Les Schwab and got new tires. 4 of them. BRAND NEW tires. I've never actually done that before. Usually I just get one retread, as needed. So, I wasn't really paying attention to their "specials" that they do for the IMPORTANT customers. (The ones that shell out more than 30 bucks.)

Needless to say, imagine my surprise and momentary horror at THIS exchange:

Les Schwab Guy- "Hi Adena, why don't we get your paperwork in order while they finish working on your car."

Me- "OK, no problem."

LSG- "So, here's your warrenty and invoice. Now....Would you like me to give you some beef?"

Me- *Blink*........... "Um, excuse me?"

LSG- "Beef. Would you like me to give you some beef?"

Me- *Blink-Blink*......... "You want to give me.....beef."

LSG- "Yeah, you know...the free beef promotion....when you buy tires....what kind would you like?"

Me- *Mentally kicking myself* "Oooooh! Yeah, ok...Um...steak is fine...thanks..."

I SO totally felt like saying "I bet you say that to ALL the girls!"
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But, I refrained.

Conversations You Should NEVER Have With A Daughter

Arianna- "Hey Mom...I need to borrow a baby wipe, okay?"

Me- "Sure. What for, exactly?"

Arianna- "Oh, I need to polish my balls."

Me- "???"

Arianna- "I need to polish my balls. They're dirty."

Me- "?????!!"

Arianna- *holds up a small soccer and basketball*

Me- "OHHHhhhhhh...." *hysterical laughter*