Thursday, September 11, 2008

September 11

I wrote this article, story...whatever you want to call it...2 years ago for the 2,996 Tribute. I don't have any problem running it again, on a day like today. The same feeling still holds this year, as well as any year, since 2001.

******************

When I first signed up for this project, it seemed like such a good idea. 2,996 people, each one memorializing someone who died in the 9/11 attacks. I entered my name, and got assigned Anthony Perez.

However, try as I might, I could not find anything about him online. The only thing I kept running across was a small blurb with a picture on memorial sites:

Anthony Perez- 33, Locust Valley, NY- Technical Specialist, eSpeed, Cantor Fitzgerald Confirmed Dead, World Trade Center, At/In Building.

Anthony1 The picture I kept running across was a picture of him holding his son. Such a simple picture, but it conveyed so much. Unfortunately, it told me so LITTLE about the man behind the photo.

I began to regret taking on this assignment. How could I possibly do this man justice? How could I convey his life, the feelings of the people that loved him, the unimaginable loss for his children...when all I could find was the basic facts, and a few paragraphs about him from friends?

Then, I thought maybe I should take another route with this- Cantor Fitzgerald. Anthony worked for eSpeed, which was an offshoot of Cantor Fitzgerald. This changed everything for me.

When 9/11 first happened, like so many others, I was glued to the TV, Newspapers, the Radio...anything that would fill me in on what was going on. It was so massive and heart-wrenching and horrible, and I swear I cried for 3 weeks solid. I was devastated at the human loss, even 3,000 miles away from the epicenter. I have never been to NY, but for that period in time, I felt like I was FROM New York.

One story, one company...one horrible fact that I was riveted to, was the fate of the company, Cantor Fitzgerald. 658 people from that company lost their lives that day. 658 people that started their day like any other day before it. 658 people who's lives were gone in one horrible instant- All because they had the misfortune of being on floors 101-105 of the North Tower, when at 8:46 in the morning, American Airlines Flight 11 crashed into them. The impact of the plane was on floors 93-99. Anthony worked on floor 103.

4 flights of stairs.

Cantor Fitzgerald sustained such a massive loss of life....roughly TWO THIRDS of its workforce...in an instant. There is no way those people survived the impact. 2 to 6 flights up from such a massive explosion....there was no way. The only comfort out of such a horrific loss of life was that it had to have been instantaneous. AA Flight 11 was the first plane to crash through the towers that day. No one in the North Tower knew what was coming, or what had hit them. The South Tower wasn't so lucky. They had an inkling of what had happened, and I'm sure some sort of dread that the same fate might befall them. So, I guess, in a sense, Anthony was lucky. He didn't suffer.

But, still....658 people from the same company...gone. Just like that. So many lives....so many mothers, fathers, sons and daughters, husbands, wives, cousins, sisters and brothers....gone. So much tragedy and loss, and the man I was assigned to memorialize was one of these 658 people. People that I couldn't get out of my head....employees of Cantor Fitzgerald. It seemed fitting that I be assigned one of their employees, but all the same, I felt woefully inadequate to memorialize him. How do you sum up 33 years of someone's life? 33 years...one year older than I am today. How could I possibly sum up his life, who he was, the ESSENCE of Anthony, based on one tiny paragraph and photo?

I was dreading Sept. 11th, wondering what I could possibly write that wouldn't sound trite and stupid....and still be worthy of this man's life.

Then I got an email....

Anthony_perez

An email from a friend of Anthony's. Someone who had worked with him before he took the job with eSpeed. Someone who missed him so much that she still carried this photo of him around in her wallet...5 years later.

She told me that the group they worked together in was a VERY tight knit group....more like family than co-workers. I get that. I understand. When I was working in the corporate atmosphere, the people I worked with became my family. It seemed like I saw them more than I saw my ACTUAL family. It was a huge loss when our group was outsourced, and we had to "break-up" our little family. To this day, I am still friends with these people, and if any of them were to perish in the way that Anthony did, I would be devastated. Beyond words. So, I understand her loss, and I am very sorry for it.

I asked her to tell me a little about him, and she did. Here he is, in her own words:

"Anthony was a loving father, husband, brother, son. He was a loyal friend, a pain in the butt, a prankster, a nudge, too smart for his own good sometimes. He was a techy kind of guy, thru and thru! We worked tech support together, as peers and then as a supervisor/lead team. (and he called me boss lady in his typical sarcastic teasing way...) He had a wicked sense of humor. He was a die-hard NY Islanders fan. He wasn't perfect, no one is, but he was a good man regardless."

She also sent along an email chain from 9/11. An email chain from people that used to work with Anthony, and who were extremely worried about him in the hours that followed the disaster. I won't attach that here, but suffice to say, it was filled with memories, and worry, and eventually...with loss.

I thank her so much for her help in telling me a little about him! It helped me immensely.

Eventually, I found a website FROM Cantor Fitzgerald....a memorial for their employees that had died. Anthony's page had many, many entries from people that loved him: his wife, his family, his friends, his co-workers....but the ones that touched me the most were from his children: Olivia, Anthony James, and Alexis. They were so young when their father was killed, and they have had to grow up missing so much.

"He was a great man. I loved him and I played with him and I helped him. When he needed help Anthony James (son), Alexis (other daughter), and I would ALWAYS help him! Last year in 5th grade we had this huge field trip and I invited him to go. He missed work on that day and came. We had a great time and enjoyed it together! Then he took me to work! All of his co-workers thought someone was sick on my other side of the family and I had to go with him. The real truth was I wanted to go and I begged him and he finally said yes! Shhhhhh! I share a lot of memories with the Perez family but it is so hard to talk about them!
WE MISS U DADDY!" - Olivia Perez, 6th Grade

***********

" Daddy I love you very much and miss you a whole lot. I'm so sad that you can't come home. Mommy tells me that you are with us all the time, so I hope you can hear me when I talk to you. I love you very very much and miss you. Big Hugs and Kisses."- Alexis Perez, Age 4

***********

"Daddy you are the best daddy ever. I miss you every day. I wish you could come home. I miss playing all the computer games with you and working on the house. I know you're in heaven now, but I like to think that you're also here with me playing ball, going to school and riding my bike.
I love you and miss you very much. Hugs and Kisses" - Anthony James Perez, Age 6

And finally, just recently, from his oldest daughter, Olivia:

"Daddy, oh god. Its been How long? like... five years almost since i last saw you. I miss you so much. You've brought me so many good things in life, and I just can bear to be without you. I've grown and changed and it's just amazing to me of how I've lived. Without you. Please keep an eye over Anthony James, Alexis, Scott Anthony, and Mary, and grandma, and grandpa, and scott, and brian, and the rest of the family, because we love you ,and we think about you constantly."

I think that's really all that needs to be said.

Anthony2_1
Anthony Perez
March 31, 1968 - September 11, 2001

Friday, August 29, 2008

Adena, A Retrospective...

Okay, let me preface this by saying that up until a few days ago, I had NO pictures of myself from my youth. None. This is mostly due to the fact that my parents and I don't really see each other all that often, and when I was a kid my dad was BIG into a film slide stage....so, no print pics, other than school ones.

So, the other day, my daughter brings home a folder that my mom gave her...filled w/ pics of me from grade/middle school. Nothing of high school, which is sad, because my senior photos? Smokin'!!

Anyhow...after I giggled and snorted for a while, a post idea emerged in my head.

So, behold...a small Adena retrospective:

Now this is me in 2nd grade. I think I'm laughing at the fact that I'm wearing a velvet dress w/ a lace bib. LACE!! ME??

*laughter interlude*

Apparently, I was in a "mood" that day, because the class photo shows me flashing the photographer some knee:


Now, on to 4th Grade, shall we?



What. The. Hell. am I wearing?? Holy hell! Let's forget that ever happened.

On to 5th grade. Did I mention I was a skater kid? Behold the bi-level haircut, and the homage to "Pretty in Pink", which I freaking love(d).


On to 6th Grade. Still a skater, but deep into the mid-80's clothing, apparently. Yes, that IS an Izod shirt....COVERED WITH A FISHNET VEST!! Go ahead, laugh. I understand.


Ahem. On to 8th Grade. This may be the worst yet. Note the fluffy hair and bangs. The mock turtleneck and V-neck sweater...and THE BOW IN MY FOOFY HAIR!!! I'm tempted to burn this one....seriously.


That's it for school photos. BUT, to redeem myself, here is a pic of me at 18. Why I didn't bask in my hotness, I don't know. I'd kill to look like this again.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Olympic Walking

So, I've suddenly become somewhat motivated to DO stuff...which doesn't happen very often with me...at least not for a while now.

I took stock of myself the other day, and realized that maybe I don't really like myself sometimes. So, I am going to try to change that.

First step? Get my body back in shape!

So, my bff and I decided to start going for walks a few times a weeks. And by WALKS, I'm not talking just a trip to the store. We are both tallish girls, and we don't get winded, so we are a good match for that sort of thing.

Last night was the first time I've done anything like that in a VERY long time, and I, of course, approached it kind-of insanely.

3 hours later, we were done walking. THREE HOURS! In this town? Yeah..um...we covered a lot of ground. Amazingly? I have blisters, because my uber-cute camouflage sneakers aren't the best for long walks, apparently...but, that's it. I'm not sore at all. So, that's a great sign.

Anyhow...funny story. We were walking down one residential street, and we passed an elderly couple and one of their friends sitting out on their driveway...throwing a ball to their VERY blind dog. Which was funny in and of itself. But, after we waved, and got a little past them, we heard one of the ladies call out "Girls? Girls?"

We turned around, and she said "We just wanted to give you a rating!" We were SOOO confused...up until the point she held up this GIANT placard w/ "9.9" written on it.

It was so random. We laughed for a while.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Funniest Thing Ever!



Yeah, going to work that day was TOTALLY worth it, don't you think??

Saturday, July 26, 2008

These Music Meme's Kill Me EVERY Time!

Yet another one....but, a bit different.
(Thanks, Hilly. It's past midnight, and I'm doing this!)

Anyway the rules are as follows: (So Sayeth Hilly)

1. Put your mp3 player or music player on your computer on random.
2. Post the first four lines from the first 20 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song (Skip repeat artists).
3. Post and let everyone you know guess what song and artist the lines come from.
4. Don’t fucking cheat, you Google whores!

MY SONGS!

1. Steal my heart, and hold my tongue.
I feel my time, my time has come.
Let me in, unlock the door.
I've never felt this way before.
(Coldplay- 'Til Kingdom Comes)

2. Today I am dirty
I want to be pretty
Tomorrow,
I know I'm just dirt
(Marilyn Manson- The Nobodies)

3. You were once my one companion . . .
you were all that mattered . .
You were once a friend and father -
then my world was shattered . . .
(Phantom of the Opera- Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again)

4. And so she woke up,
Woke up from where she was lying still.
Said “I gotta do something
About where we’re going.”
(U2- Running To Stand Still)

5. These moments are brief
When you can truly say you know yourself
You must lose your mind in order for you to find it
And sometimes you've just got to fall
(Cloud Cult- I Guess This Dream Is For Me)

6. Karma police, arrest this man, he talks in maths
He buzzes like a fridge, hes like a detuned radio
Karma police, arrest this girl, her hitler hairdo, is making me feel ill
And we have crashed her party
(Radiohead- Karma Police)

7. In this farewell
There's no blood
There's no alibi
Cause I've drawn regret
(Linkin Park- What I've Done)

8. In the light, In the daylight it's all wrong
To revel in your memory
The smell of your body
And the seconds that it kept me warm
(Matt Nathanson- Bare)

9. Come the day
You see the sun
Hit the arch
A history song
(The Good, The Bad & The Queen- History Song)

10. I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played,
and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
(Hallelujah- Rufus Wainwright )

11. Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
(The Fray- How To Save A Life)

12. Many times I've tried to tell you, many times I've cried alone
Always I'm surprised how well you cut my feelings to the bone
Don't wanna leave you really, I've invested too much time
To give you up that easy, to the doubts that complicate your mind
(We Belong To The Night- Pat Benetar)

13. You think that we connect
That the chemistry's correct
Your words walk right through my ears
Presuming I like what I hear
(No Doubt- Spiderwebs)

14. And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
(Damien Rice- The Blower's Daughter)

15. Must be your skin that I'm sinkin in
Must be for real, cause now I can feel
I didn't mind, It's not my kind
It’s not my time to wonder why
(Bush- Glycerine)

16. Pain from pearls-hey little girl-
How much have you grown?
Pain from pearls-hey little girl-
Flower for the ones you've known.
(Indigo Girls- Kid Fears)

17. These back steps are steeper to the ground
The brightest stars are falling down
I'm walking the edge
I'm walking the tightest rope
(Mat Kearney- Falling Down)

18. Well you must be a girl with shoes like that
She said you know me well
I seen you and little Steven and Joanna
Round the back of my hotel oh yeah
(The Fratellis- Chelsea Dagger)

19. Even on a day like this when you're crawling on the floor
Reaching for the phone to ring anyone who knows you anymore
It's all right to make mistakes, you're only human
Inside everybody's hiding something
(Dido- Slide)

20. Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do,
I still feel you here 'till the moment I'm gone.
(Sara Bareilles- Gravity)


Thursday, July 24, 2008

What's Been Going On?

Answer- Not much.

I got laid off (for the most part) last week, because the sector of business I currently work in is doing pretty badly because of the economy. There's simply not enough work to keep me busy. I have been working half days, or like 3 days a week for a while now, just to do the stuff that did come up...but, it's tapered down so much that there's no point in that, anymore.

Which is actually okay, because working so few hours a week was actually costing me money to work. So...yeah...unemployment is looking better. I'm actually making more staying at home than I was working. Go figure.

I guess I should be blogging more, but...well...I haven't. I need to be publicly flogged, I know.

At any rate, the tattoo idea I had a few posts down came into fruition over the weekend. My friend finally told me to come over for my free b-day tattoo, and so I had him do that one. I pretty much told him the idea, and he free-handed it, so it's not exactly like my drawing, but I think it turned out pretty cool, regardless: (click pic to make larger)


It's pretty symbolic for me, and not everyone will understand what the hell it's about, but that's okay. I know.

None of my other tats have any sort of meaning other than I liked them. I have 2 Celtic ones...because...well...look at me. But, other than that, I pretty much saw designs, and thought "Oh, I like that!"

This? Entirely to do with my writing.

Maybe nothing will ever come of it, and I don't even know if I'm any good. But, it's something that I've always loved to do, and I'm really doing it now. I've completely finished one novel, am 3/4 done with another, halfway done w/ yet another, and have about the first 3 chapters written on 2 more. I honestly don't know where all the ideas are coming from, but I'm going with them when they pop into my head.

I'm not terribly happy with the one novel that's actually done, but I think I needed to fully finish it...just so I could prove to my brain that it could be done. I'm so much happier with the other ones, and I've been spending most of my spare time working on them. I haven't really been posting here, because I think all my creativity is being sucked up by the novels. (And, for the record, how I write in this blog is NOT indicative of how I write stories...thank god.)

I'm not going to be all pretentious and say I'm a writer...because nothing has ever been published. I will say that I'm trying to be one, and I guess that is something. It means a lot to me, even if no one else ever gets to read what I've written.

I dunno...hard to explain. But, the tattoo...an open book w/ blank pages, and the word "write" in Tibetan Sanskrit. It may not be perfect, but then...neither is my writing. So, it all works out in the end.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Teacher, I finished my assignment!

So, there was this writing meme making the circuit. Well, it didn't start out as a writing meme, but Vahid turned it into something fabulous, and then Hilly quickly followed.

I thought about doing it myself, because I'd like to fancy myself a writer, after all. But, I was worried. What if my contribution sucked? But, today, I bit the bullet, and sat down and quickly wrote something out.

Here's my attempt.

So, the idea is, take these five questions and answer them...creatively!

1.What were you doing 10 years ago?
2. What five things are on your to-do list for today?
3. Snacks I enjoy…
4. Things I would do if I was a billionaire…
5. Places I have lived…

And here I go. Be gentle with my delicate writer's soul....

1.
She stared at the bleak landscape surrounding her, and watched quietly as the tumbleweed bounced along, pacing the truck. Had she really gotten up enough courage to leave everything she had ever known?

Leaving an abusive relationship had been hard enough…there had been all the drama that surrounded that sort of thing. The fear, the loss of everything she owned, the court proceedings that had been there to protect her…but, she hadn’t been entirely sure that they would be enough. She didn’t trust her ex, and when she found out he had conveniently moved 2 blocks away from her new place, she knew it was time to leave.

But, this? Packing up and moving to a state she’d never even been to before? This was reckless! She turned and gazed at the boy driving the truck. He’d been her best friend through all of the craziness of the last year, and somehow that friendship had turned to something more. She was still kind-of amazed about that.

He had known she was scared and unhappy about the situation with her ex, so one day he took her to the park, set her down on the grass, and pulled out a map of the United States.
“Close your eyes and point.” He’d said.

“Why?” she’d asked, but did it anyways. She opened her eyes, and her finger was resting on Colorado.

“How do you feel about the mountains?” he grinned.

So, now, a few weeks later, they were on their way…off to a new state, a new life…something entirely different.
She closed her eyes and breathed.

2.
She stared at the computer screen. She’d never been one for lists, but she read somewhere they were supposed to make things easier.

She quickly typed. #1- “Clean the house.” She looked around at the disaster surrounding her, and quickly erased it.

Let’s try this again. #1- “Write.” She opened Word, and stared at the manuscript. She sighed. Not today…the damn muse was hiding again. She closed down Word, and erased that suggestion.

Okay…think…. #1- “Eat something.” That was easy enough. A few minutes later, she was back at the list. Did that really count? Probably not. She sighed, and hit delete.

#1- “Do some laundry.” Fuck. That would involve organizing clothes. She quickly erased it, thought a moment, and then smiled.

#1- “Go to best friend’s house, drink and watch movies.” She stared at the list and nodded. Well, at least she could accomplish one thing today! Lists were stupid, anyhow.

3.
She downed the Dr. Pepper, and grabbed a few pieces of hard candy. The junk food expo was great, and she was having a grand time gaining a million pounds.

She’d already eaten some Smartfood popcorn, washed it down with a slurpee, and then followed that with some Hostessy goodness. She took another swig of her soda, and listened to her stomach make accusing noises at her.

Maybe she’d go to the veggie convention next week, after all.

4.
She stared at the mountains surrounding her. Was she really in Scotland? It seemed like only yesterday she’d sold the film rights to her first mega-successful novel for the unheard of sum of 1 billion dollars, and now here she was! Glencoe was as beautiful as everyone promised!

Next on the itinerary was Ireland, because she was Irish, after all. She always believed that if she stepped foot on the soil there, something magical would happen. She wanted to go there first, really, but she realized she had to wait. Something in her had somehow always missed a place she’d never even been to before, and that feeling had always thrown her off a bit. But, she’d wanted to see Scotland, too…so, she went there first…leaving Ireland’s magic until last.

She was glad she’d been able to make sure her closest friends never had to worry about money again, and she’d already bought a house. That was quickly followed by the purchase of a new car that actually ran, she sent her kids off to have fun at various camps, and then she went on this vacation of a lifetime…by herself. She breathed in the fresh air, and watched the mists roll over the mountains, and smiled. Life was good.

5.
She gazed out at the ocean. There was nothing like the Oregon Coast. It was the most beautiful place she’d ever been, thus far, and she wondered how she had ever managed to live away from the Ocean. There was something about the water that instantly put her at ease, and made everything calm inside of her.

Colorado had been beautiful, but she missed the ocean so much when she was there. The lakes were gorgeous, yes, but they weren’t the same. They couldn’t compete with the ocean.

California had the ocean, too…but, it was different. Too glitzy, too perfect…it didn’t have the rugged, wild beauty that the Oregon beaches did.
She sat down on the cold sand, and watched the crashing waves roll towards her…reveling in the feel of the water tickling her toes.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Murder: In Two Parts

Scene One-

Setting- Pristine, clean house...quiet before bedtime.

Woman- Hey can you make sure the house stays clean before you come to bed? I worked all day cleaning it, and I know how you are.

Man- No problem. I doubt I'll move off of this couch, anyhow.


Scene Two-

*Five Hours Later* Woman wakes up and goes downstairs to find house DESTROYED. Clothes strewn everywhere, food on floor in both living room AND kitchen, plates and bowls on furniture and floor, food and utensils and gunk all over kitchen, trail of popcorn leading from kitchen to living room, Hansel and Gretel style...etc, etc...

Woman spends 20 minutes cleaning at 3 am, and then stomps upstairs, where man is awake and looking suspiciously like he "wants" something.

Woman- DON'T even think about it!! If you think you're getting anything after I had to clean up a giant mess that you were SUPPOSED to contain, then you're sadly mistaken.

Man- *looking GENUINELY affronted* B-but....I DID contain it!!

*stunned silence*

Woman- To what?? The INSIDE of the house??

fin

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Stealing Mosaics.

Stealing this from Karl, who stole it from someone else, who stole it from someone else...(Lather, Rinse, Repeat.)

The concept:
1. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
2. Using only the first page of results, pick one image.
3. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into Big Huge Lab’s Mosaic Maker to create a mosaic of the picture answers.

The questions:
1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food? right now?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. What is your favorite drink?
7. What is your dream vacation?
8. What is your favorite dessert?
9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. What is one word that describes you?
12. What is your flickr name?

And my resulting mosaic? Click on it for a bigger view.


1. Adena Mound, 2. The famous Fly Mushroom, 3. T&E General Store, 4. Greener Pastures, 5. 264319~Gerard-Butler-Posters, 6. Drink Dr. Pepper!, 7. Glencoe, 8. Candy, 9. The Writer, 10. Snowmen family in TX, 11. Dork., 12. Dominoes

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

I've Just Discovered a New Psychiatric Problem!!

So, today I'm at the counter at a gov't agency, talking to the lady behind the desk.

Another lady, who had been sitting, filling out paperwork at a table, got up and hesitantly walked towards us. Once she reached us, she asked "Do you have a dictionary?"

The girl behind the counter said no, so English nerd me asked her what she was trying to spell.

She said "Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome."

So, I started to spell it, but judging from the panicked look I was getting I decided to ask her "Well, let me see what you have written, and I'll tell you if it's right."

She shows me her paperwork, and it says...

"Post Dramatic Stress Syndrome."

O.M.G.

I'm seriously patting myself on the back for not busting out laughing, because I SOOOO wanted to! Instead, I just managed to say "Um...It's not DRAMATIC....it's TRAUMATIC."

She looked at me completely blankly, so I just told her to write down the letters as I said them.

Whooo Boy.

Sometimes people scare me.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

ambivalence.

I don't know why I've been neglecting this blog so much.

It used to be that it was my writing outlet, because I was too lazy to sit and actually write something more than a 4 minute blurb about something. I've always had to have some sort of creative outlet in my life to keep me (semi) sane...whether it be writing, art, music...whatever. Just something that I'm actually CREATING.

And for a while there, this blog was that.

But, now I've been actually, really, honest-to-God writing (Like in WORD! OMFG, amazing!!) and I haven't really needed this outlet that bad. What I've been doing probably isn't that great, but it's still mine, and I'm still creating...even if it's horrible.

I also used to blog to keep track of all my friends I've made in bloggy-land, but now Twitter has pretty much taken over THAT little necessity! (Because, honestly, what BETTER way to keep track of people than 140 character blurbs??) Ha.

I used to post photos here, but now I have Flickr to do that.

My poor blog has been outsourced. Which is really, really ironic, actually.

So, here I sit in my darkened living room, listening to the sound of the washing machine playing behind Mat Kearney playing through my earbuds....staring at a half finished manuscript on my computer, and neglecting my poor, pathetic blog.

I honestly don't know how I feel about that.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Tattooed Thoughts?



So, the written part I already have tattooed. I have it just below my neck, between my shoulder blades.

It translates to "Write."

The rest of it, I want to have added. A book with blank pages. Telling me to hurry up and fill them, already!

This is just a rough sketch, and will be much better once actually drawn on me. The book will be further up, on my neck, and the stars will look better, probably smaller and more stylized - cascading down my neck and around the writing.

What do you all think? Yay? Nay?....

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Scarily True.




Your Slogan Should Be



Between Love and Madness Lies Adena

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Ghost Forest

So, every once in a great while, the Coast has a big storm that is strong enough to wash away significant amounts of sand from the beaches.

And, sometimes, when that happens it uncovers something ancient.


This is called a "Ghost Forest", and it's the stumps of trees that are around 2000-4000 years old and were suddenly buried in some sort of cataclysmic event. It buried them so quickly that it preserved them in their normal positions.

Usually, they are covered by the sand, with only the tops of one or two of them poking their heads out....but, with this last storm that blew through, it uncovered an entire forest.

I have more pictures here.

The pictures don't really do justice to how cool it was. Some of the stumps were almost as tall as me, and with all the water rushing around them, it was very surreal, and very, very beautiful.

So, we spent a gorgeous day at the beach, but my camera ran out of juice by the end. Somehow, the camera gods were smiling at me, and I caught this picture in a split second moment:


I freaking love it. I may blow it up and have it framed.

I love the beach, and although I only live about 45 minutes from it, I don't go nearly enough. I need to change that, I'm thinking...

Saturday, April 05, 2008

Drawing


Colored Pencil Drawing
Originally uploaded by deenerann
I haven't drawn in ages, and I have a zillion sets of colored pencils around. I hardly ever use them, usually preferring Graphite...but, tonight I pulled these out.

One thing about colored pencil. NO ERASING!!!

This whole thing was drawn w/o erasing, which is why her eyes are all wonky. I want to erase one of them and fix it right, but I can't. So here's the final, imperfect drawing.

The scanner didn't pick up the correct color...her hair is actually a lot blonder, and her skin is a warmer peach...but, I can't get it to scan the color correctly. Alas.

Dramaz!

Okay, semi-serious post. I didn't sleep well last night, and I'll probably just wind up rambling incoherently, but I'm honestly curious.

So, without further ado....

MAN, there's a lot of drama going on in the blog-o-sphere right now! (And, no, I won't link to any of it...this is just a generalized statement, without pointing fingers.)

I'm as guilty as anyone in reading it all when it happens (kind-of the train wreck mentality, ya' know?)...but, when it comes to jumping in to any of it, I tend to stand WAY back at the far end of the room, and just watch. I don't really want to be involved in all that.

One of my bestest friends does it all the time in chat rooms....does it for fun...and I think it's hysterical sometimes the way she can get people to completely FREAK out by just writing...but, personally, I tend to steer clear of it. Maybe I do that in real life, too.

I mean, I can fight with the best of them. I'm a redhead, and I've got a lot of Irish/Gaelic in me, and when I fight, I FIGHT (as anyone who really knows me can attest to)...but, it takes a huge amount of crap to get me to that point.


Normally, the main thing I do is I jump in with quiet sarcastic / snide little comments directed at people, and I know I do that a lot. That's actually probably worse than just openly freaking out on someone...but, I HATE confrontation, for the most part. (Although, that all goes out the window if we're talking about relationships. Then, confront away!! I'm ALL about the big fight if you're actually in a relationship w/ someone. MUCH better than silently stewing.)

So, I guess...I just want to know why some people seem to feed and thrive on causing as much shit as possible online? Personally, I come online to escape all the crap and drama of my real life. I don't know as it would make me feel any better to have it going on all around me online, too.

I don't blog a lot of personal stuff. Yeah, I post about my kids sometimes, but mainly I try to be entertaining and funny on the blog, or just write quick little random thoughts (although, Twitter has taken that away from my blog. Much easier to Twitter all that.) Anyhow, I just never thought anyone wanted to hear about my everyday dramaz shit...so, I made the decision to not really blog about any of that.

I have made some real friends online, and if I'm having a bad day, or whatever, I usually get emails asking about it. I'm totally fine with that. If you're openly ASKING about my shit, I'll tell you, but I won't just force it on the unsuspecting reading public.


Which is probably exactly why I've been neglecting the blog so much. If I have nothing amusing to write, I won't do it. If I'm feeling insecure and shitty about myself, then I won't have anything amusing to write. There's the rub. I've been in a bit of a downward slump as far as how I feel about myself, my writing...everything. I'd rather just read about other people's lives than bore you with my own.

So, here's the question...for those of you that like jumping into all the drama, and stirring the proverbial online pot....why? I'm not trying to be bitchy...I just honestly want to know. Maybe it's something I should do more of....I don't know. I'm an opinionated bitch in my own mind, believe me...and my brain is always going a million miles a minute about things, but I tend to monitor what I say or do very carefully. Believe me, there is an INORDINATE amount of catty stuff going on in my head that most people will never know about. Maybe that's a problem I need to address? I dunno.

I'm not trying to start a flame war, believe me. Just be honest, K?

That's it.

Forum's open. Have at it.

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Bored, Ver. 2.1

The weather here is schizophrenic. Two days ago it was snowing. Today it was about 65 degrees and sunny.

My poor flowers in the front yard are so confused.

Also, change of subject, but...

I love FireFox...I really do...but, after so many years of using IE ingrained in my brain, I totally forget about the tabs in FF.

And, when I DO use them, I instantly forget they're there and move on to other things, with tabs still open in the background.

So, um...if some people are looking at their blog stats, and wondering why the hell there's an IP from Salem, OR hanging out on their blogs for HOURS....um, yeah...sorry about that.

You don't have a stalker.

I'm just an idiot.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Dear Shopper at Wal-Mart:

Maybe you should reconsider this outfit:



That is all.

Love,
Me.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

MOVIES!

Got this from Hilly...and, as promised...another Meme!

* Pick 15 of your favorite movies
* Go to IMDB and find a quote from each movie (or quote them from memory because you are that bad ass)
* Post them on your blog for everyone to guess
* Fill in the film title once it’s been guessed

These are your rules:
* No Googling or using IMDB search functions (Don’t cheat!)
* Leave your answer(s) in the comments

And here they are....in NO particular order...

1. "Yes! You taught me that people will do anything for a potato."

2. "There can be no victory here... why do you smile?"

3. "I can't help thinking that at some point someone is going to produce a piglet and we'll all have to chase it."

4. "Gentlemen, good luck. If you need me, I shall be in Australia."

5. "Just look at the face: it's vacant, with a hint of sadness. Like a drunk who's lost a bet." -Lucretia (aka GeekMommy)! "Shaun of the Dead"

6. "I know what you would say, and it would seem like wisdom, but for the warning in my heart."

7. "A man tells so many stories, that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal."

8. "It's the end of the month, they're out of toilet seat covers!"

9. "She's gone. She gave me a pen. I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen." -Hilly! "Say Anything"

10. "Nah. The last tour I did was ten years ago. It was Aerosmith, but they've gone and cleaned up their act. It's all wheatgrass juice and fuckin' pumpkin seeds. I hope you guys are still crazy, or I'm outta here."

11. "I had two heart attacks, an abortion, did crack... while I was pregnant. Other than that, I'm fine." - Dave! "Amelie"

12. "Back when I was picking beans in Guatemala, we used to make fresh coffee, right off the trees I mean. That was good. This is shit but, hey, I'm in a police station." -Kapgar! "The Usual Suspects"

13. "I'm not a witch, I'm your wife. But after what you just said, I'm not even sure I want to be that any more." -Again, Kapgar! "The Princess Bride"

14. "I swallowed a bug."

15. "It's hell out there. Matthew's trapped with an evangelist from Minnesota."

There you have it!! Have fun!

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Plea.

Lazy.

A Meme In Pictures

Here’s how it works:
1. Go to www.photobucket.com
2. Type in your answer to the question in the “search” box
3. Use only the first page
4. Insert the picture into your Blog

1.) What is your Relationship Status?

2)What is your current mood?

3.) Who is your Favorite Band / Artist?

4.) What is your Favorite Movie?

5.) What kind of pet do you have?

6.) Where do you live?

7.) Where do you work?

8.) What do you look like?

9.) What do you drive?

10)What did you do last night?

11.) What is your Favorite TV Show?

12.) Describe yourself:


13)What are you doing today?

14.) What is your Name?

15.) What’s your Favorite Candy?



Friday, February 29, 2008

Self-Control

So, I'm standing in line at Wal-Mart, in their customer service area.

In front of me stands this girl. She's probably like 13-14, there with her probably 19-20 year old boyfriend (eww...but, it IS Wal-Mart...)

ANYHOW...her outfit. Oh my god, her outfit!!

This is where self-control comes into play, because I was dying...dying...to take a picture of her with my cell. But, there were equally scary people behind me, and I was afraid that if they saw me taking pics of the obviously underage girl in front of me...well....Yeah.

Self-Control, Adena.

So, I'll try and explain in the best detail I can:

Starting at her head...she was wearing a white hat, straight out of the 60's. You know, kinda like a bubbly baseball cap w/ a little ball on top?

Then she was wearing a skin tight sparkly tee-shirt.

Then she was wearing an UBER short plaid school-girl looking miniskirt. (Which, um...20 year old boy sleeping w/ a 13-14 year old....MAYBE you should think about discouraging her from going out with you when looking like she just got out of Catholic Jr. High. Just a tip.)

And then...THEN....to top the whole ensemble off....

She's wearing these legging...things. They started at just below her knees....leaving the great expanse of her bare thighs below her uber-short miniskirt for all to see. However, these leggings....they were white....FLEECE....bellbottomed, and hung down over the top of her white, LA-Gear looking tennis shoes. (And we're talking LA-Gear from the late 80's)

I honestly don't know how else to explain it. I really wish I had been able to sneak a picture!

But, Self-Control, Adena.....Self-Control.....

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Quirky

So, there's this meme making the rounds, and all the cool kids are doing it, so I thought I'd jump on the bandwagon.

You're supposed to list 6 quirky things about you, and then tag 3 people to do the same. I don't tag. So, I'll just list.

Here goes!

1. I have an extraordinary amount of books, and I re-read them all. Sometimes multiple times. There are books I have that I almost know by heart, for the amount of times that I've read them...yet that never diminishes my pleasure for the story.

2. I love going to overgrown, slightly freaky places to take pictures. Especially cemeteries. I LOVE cemeteries...and I love photography. It's a quirky combo.



3. I get overwhelmed in large groups of people. So much so that I will most likely fade to the back of the room, and just observe people in silence. I love to observe people. However, I know this makes me come across as aloof and cold sometimes, when really, I'm pretty open and funny when I get over my insecurities and let myself join the crowd.

4. I don't really like jewelry. I mean, I own a lot of it, but I never really wear it. With that said, I only have quirky, funky jewelry. I HATE gold, and I'm not that big on diamonds, and the like. Give me something unusual and off-beat...something that isn't sweet and dainty, and I'd enjoy that SO much more than your typical solitaire.

5. I buy bags of ice on a weekly basis. I MUST have cocktail ice in my drinks. I'm kind-of OCD about ice. I must have it to crunch on when I'm drinking soda or juice. I loves me some ice!!

6. I am obsessed with Gerard Butler. Like unhealthily obsessed. Like I could dip him in honey and eat him with a spoon obsessed. *hangs head in shame* But, seriously...who WOULDN'T be obsessed with THIS??



And there you have it. Only a small sampling of the reasons Adena is quirky.