Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Dear Woman Walking Through Wal-Mart:

While I applaud your amazing body, I think there are better ways to attain it than by staring at the diet shakes, and then exclaiming loudly "It's just easier NOT to eat, than eat these things!" before walking away without putting any said shakes in your cart.

While your fashion sense may be "in", I think that skin tight camouflage capris w/ scrunchy legs and little bows (on camo??), 4 inch wedge sandals, ripped jean jacket, and that glittery tank top exposing your huge bosoms MIGHT be dressing a just a little too young...
You know....considering when the teenage boys that are drooling after you, and eventually work their way from ogling your body to actually seeing your face realize that you are old enough to be THEIR GRANDMA!!!


You are causing the rise in therapy costs for 13-16 year old boys.

I realize you're trying to hold on to your youth....but, you may be pushing it just a WEE bit too far.....

After I got past the "outfit", your hair, which has been permed, colored & highlighted, teased, gelled, and curling ironed into extreme submission (and good chance it will fall out in 2-5 years, btw.), the 7 inches of foundation, blush, mascara, eyeliner, eyeshadow, and lipstick you're wearing, and the OBVIOUS chin and eye work you've had done (bet your plastic surgeon LOVES you!), it only took me about 2.5 seconds to realize that you're pushing your mid 50's.

Honestly, who do you think you're fooling?

Rule #1 for middle age- When you're sharing clothes w/ your 16 year old grand-daughter, MAYBE it's time to look into shopping somewhere other than the junior dept at the Limited.

I'm just sayin'.

A Concerned Fellow Shopper

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