Friday, April 06, 2007

Diamonds are a Girl's...uh...Bikers? Best Friend?

I've been such a slacker about writing.I've been busy with work, and Martin has taken over my computer playing "Oblivion", which I stupidly bought for myself, but then realized how much I HATE moving w/ a mouse and keyboard, and much rather like the Xbox controls. (And yes, I know you can buy controllers for your computer, but we can't get it to work right w/ Oblivion....it won't change direction...you still have to move the mouse to swivel. If anyone knows how to FIX that, then PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me know!!)

Anyhow, point is, I haven't had a lot to write about. I've been a picture taking fool, but I've been posting those to Flickr.

So, I got to thinking....I should probably share stories of funny things that happened to me in the past. I've had a LOT of those!So, here's a good one from Colorado.....

I used to work grocery, and I worked in the Deli at a place called "City Market" in Durango, Co.

Now it was more than your typical deli....we actually cooked. I mean, we had the normal packaged deli stuff, and the deep fried stuff, and the meats...but, we actually got up at the butt crack of dawn, and cooked breakfast from scratch to put in the hot case.

Now, this involved working a 4am-1pm shift. It was a 24 hour store, so the crazies usually were in there around that time in the morning.

Now Durango has a big Harley Biker event called the Iron Horse Rally....where thousands of Harley'd men and women invade the town, and do this giant bike rally through the mountains. It's really impressive. However, with that come a lot of the Harley FREAKS. Now....don't get me wrong...I adore most bikers. However, there are exceptions to every rule.

I remember one day, working in the deli, and I hear my friend, Josh, say something to the effect of "Holy Mother of....." and I turned around to see what he was talking about.

Yeah.

Woman.

In chaps. And a bikini top. And a g-string.

Did I mention chaps?

It was....interesting. Every guy in the store had to hide behind waist height things for a few minutes, tho'.

Anyhow, one morning I dragged myself out of bed for the 4am shift, and entered a fairly deserted store. I rounded the corner to walk through the paper aisle to get to the deli, and nearly ran into this giaganto, majorly hairy biker dude.

Seriously.

Robin Williams hairy.

And he was pretty hefty, as well. Which is all well and fine, and expected in your average biker.

However, what set him apart from the crowd was that he was dressed in a silk, pink floral mini sundress.

Yes, you read that right.

Silk.

Sundress.

Floral.

Hairy.

Now, at 4am, you don't really react well to unexpected situations like that. I'm really lucky I didn't get beat to a pulp by a hairy biker in drag.

But, perhaps he didn't want to break a nail?

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