Monday, April 02, 2007

Horror Show

We had nice weather this weekend, and Martin decided to go out and mow the lawn on Sunday afternoon.

He was outside for a while, happily mowing away in the backyard, and I was inside, puttering around the house.

Suddenly, I see him run up to the slider, and start doing a little dance, shedding clothes. Now this wasn't a "Hey, me take off my clothes" type of dance. It was more of a "OH HOLY HELL!! CLOTHES OFF NOW. NOW! NOW!!" type of dance.

I watched, bemused, for a few seconds, then he opened up the slider, and rushed inside, still shedding clothes out the back door, emitting a series of "EE EE EEEE!" sounds.

I said something to the effect of "What. The. F#&%?!" and he responded with "Sss....Sp.....SPIDERRRRSS!!"

"What the heck? You're not afraid of spiders."

"I'm not afraid of A spider. I am, however, a little panicked when surrounded by enough spiders to EAT ME WHOLE!"

So, apparently, he was happily mowing away by the side of the house/garage, when he happened to glance at the concrete walkway between the grass and the side of the garage. It is normally grey concrete. When he glanced at it, it was black. Wondering why it had changed color, he went in for a closer look. It was now black because it was COVERED W/ THOUSANDS OF BLACK SPIDERS!!!

I remained skeptical that there could be THAT many spiders, and went out to investigate.


Who has a spider phobia.

In flip-flops.

So, we go out the front door, and around to the side gate, and I look at the walkway, which is the normal grey cement I was used to.

Martin shuddered and said they all ran out from the grass because he was mowing right there. In fact, the mower was still there, a victim abandoned to the spider hoardes.

I remained unconvinced, and walked down the walkway to peer closer into the grass. The grass which was....moving....Martin, in an attempt to convince me, decided to jump out into the grass to flush some of the spiders onto the pathway.

Sure enough, a good fair amount of them came zipping onto the pavement, and then back into the grass. Nasty, black, fast spiders.And the grass was still.....moving.....on it's "own".

Yeah, me and my flip-flops retreated onto the safety of the driveway, w/ Martin close behind, dragging the mower away from certain death.

So, it appears I need to pesticide the hell out of my side yard. Because I sure as hell am not letting my kids out there to play amongst the army of black nasties.


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