Wednesday, March 08, 2006

For My Daughter- A Lesson On How To Wake Your Mother Up.

(I should preface this with the fact that I read a LOT of Stephen King. This will make sense later.)

Dear Arianna-

If you want to wake mommy up, there are a few ways that are acceptable.
Mommy is a light sleeper, so you can wake her up by shaking her, talking to her, or even though this way is slightly creepy, she'll even accept you standing next to her and STARING at her until she wakes up.

However, there is one way that she never, ever, EVER wants you to wake her up again.
If you have snuck into the bedroom without anyone knowing, and have decided to sleep on the floor at the foot of the bed....and EVEN IF mommy IS sleeping on her stomach with her feet dangling off the end of the bed where you can see them above you....never, EVER, EVER again decide to reach up, grab one of those feet and tug on it.

After mommy has crawled out of her skin, and crawled UP the wall to get away from the monster under her bed, she will be VERY, VERY upset with you.

Think of this a lesson learned...


No comments: