Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Holy Muffin Top, Batman!

Dear Girl Walking in Front of McDonald's-

I know you think wearing track pants is "OH SO FASHIONABLE", and I know you think wearing an itty-bitty zip up hoodie with the track pants is "HOTTT".

However, when you decide to forgo wearing a shirt UNDERNEATH the hoodie, and that hoodie is NOT quite long enough to reach the top of the track pants, since they're the low-riding kind, I have just one request:



Did you NOT see the fact that your gut hangs out over the top of the pants? And it's not like the teeny bopper, tight pants/ "muffin top" effect (which I also can't stand), because I've seen enough teenage fat being Squeeeezed out the top of pants to be able to now just roll my eyes at it.

However, you were a whole different entity. One which I feel needs to be addressed. Your fat was not being squeeeezed out the top. Noooo, it was just....there. Hanging limply over the top of your elastic waistband. Moving merrily with every step you took. Swishing with each hip sway. It was strangely hypnotic. And, judging by the faces of the people in cars driving by, I was not the only one that was horrified fascinated with your display.

So, in the interest of avoiding a future 15 car pile-up, can you please look into purchasing a few tee-shirts?

Thank You,
A Concerned Citizen in the McDonald's Drive Thru.

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