Sunday, March 05, 2006

Yay! Drunken Monkeys!!*

*I should really have a category for "Stupid Martin Tricks".

Anyhow, the name of the title comes from yesterday, after Martin agreed to give Jack a shower. He yelled "Hey, bring me the baby" from the bathroom, and SOMEHOW I heard "Yay! Drunken Monkeys!". It also made me wonder exactly WHAT he was doing in the shower, to inspire such an excited exclamation.

I also thought it was a very appropriate title, given what happened last night:
We went to our friends' house to play poker. They have 3 kids, and add our 2, and it's unorganized chaos in that house. Martin and "Male Friend" went to get mexican food. They also decided to stop by the liquor store. When they got back, I decided I didn't really want mexican, as I'd had it about 3 days in a row, so I drove myself to the Thai place.
When I got back w/ my food, the boys were nicely toasted. Expensive Scotch Whiskey will do that to

So, as I sat down at the table to eat, the following chaos ensued:

Somehow, in Martin's drunken stupor, as he was standing by the poker table, he turned around and decided that Jack's infant carseat, that was sitting on the FLOOR, had somehow morphed into a full size adult chair. Therefore, he decided to sit on it.

As he fell (naturally) backwards, the contents of the tumbler of scotch he was holding were flung sideways.....STRAIGHT into Jack's face....who was innocently laying on the floor on the other side of the table.

Now, as I'm sitting at the table, I'm kind-of in that state where I see everything happening, but I'm helpless to stop it. I see Martin fall, and I look over at Jack, and this is the scene as played out on Jack's face:

"Oh look, Dad is trying to sit in my carseat. Haha! He's falling, that's funn.....WHOA...WTF IS ON MY FACE?? OH SHIT! IT BURNS!! I'M GOING TO SCREAM NOW!! LOUDLY!!"

So, I run over and scoop Jack up, take him to the sink, and start washing his face off, mad because my baby just had Scotch thrown in his eyes, but kind-of laughing, because what a friggen comedy of errors!!

I get the Scotch off, and Jack's cries have changed from "Ow!" to pure, rightous fury, so I know he's alright. Then Martin decides to help. He proceeds to dump water over the top of Jack's head....igniting even MORE screams of pure fury.


I got the whole thing eventually calmed down, but I do believe that this will be a moment that will be forever memorialized in my mind...and WILL be brought up as the situation calls for it.
"Hey Martin....remember when you nearly blinded your son...?"

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