So, Greg of TV Guy (a Must-Read, btw), came up with a theory as to why some films don't do better in the box office.
It's all about the titles, people.
Anyhow, he took the time to find both good and bad movies w/ horrible titles, and came up w/ handy categories, etc....Then, he emailed me basically a challenge to find some more. (Right, Greg?)
Well...I'm not attempting to find movies that are GOOD w/ bad titles....all mine fall into his "Films that were terrible AND had bad names..." category. At least I assume they are terrible...based on the names....(SEE? His theory is correct!...or these could just be really terrible)
I went to netflix and looked up movies in two genres..."asian" and "horror".
WHAT A WEALTH OF HORRIBLE TITLES!! Really, i had to look no further.
And without further ado (and in no particular order)...*drum roll, please*....
1. Driving Miss Wealthy- I swear this isn't a porno. It just brings bad visuals of old people, and cars...and porn. Not a good combo.
2. Itchy Heart- Do they make an ointment for that?
3. The Fatal Flying Guillotine- Um...I assume a flying guillotine would be fatal, yes....
4. Inspector Wears Skirts- This falls into the "To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar" category...Only watch if you are a gay man, or a drag queen. Anyone else will be clawing their eyes out.
5. Woman Demon Human- Cat Dog Fish Horse Cow....the list goes on and on....
6. Attack the Gas Station!- Well, this doesn't seem such a bad idea, what w/ the rising gas prices, and all...
7. Bcuz of U- Anyone else HATE W/ A FORCE BEYOND REASON! when people shorten words like this? How hard is it to just type in the real word???? (and, as a side note...Indians, from India, are notorious for doing this. I mean, half my aim training sessions w/ them, i couldn't understand what the hell they were trying to say because of their attempt at "american slang". The best one was when one guy told my friend, in an attempt to get her to visit India, that "she should cum, she'd really like it". We nearly died. DIED, i tell you!)
8. Seven Days in Coffin- I'd assume that would lead to MANY more days in coffin...
9. Chopin: Desire for Love- Now, I thought "Amadeus" was good...but this is pushing it.
10. Let's Make a Grandson- Anyone else find this dripping in incestious undertones? Anyone??
11. Blood Creature / Werewolf in a Girls' Dorm- This describes every horror movie EVER made. EVER.
12. Blood Orgy of the She-Devils - I'm picturing cheerleaders luring in hapless men...
13. Dracula: Dirty Old Man / Guess What- Um...I really don't even know what to say, here...
14. Monster a-Go-Go! /Psyched by the 4-D Witch- Monster a-Go-Go?? Horror Musical??
15. This Stuff'll Kill Ya / Year of the Yahoo- Is this a hint to stay off the internet?
16. Attack of the Virgin Mummies- Well....I'd be pretty pissed too....
17. Filthy McNastier / Filthy McNastiest- Huh? I swear this isn't a porn, either.
18. I Eat Your Skin/The Undertaker & Pals- Betcha didn't know Jeffrey Dahmer made a film?
19. Toxie: Curse of the Cannibal Confederates- When soldiers go bad...
20. When Puppets and Dolls Attack!- This may be the scariest title EVER!!
21. Satanic Yuppies- Aren't they all?....aren't they all....
22. Stuff Stephanie in the Incinerator- Wow...What'd Stephanie do to deserve THAT?
23. Da Hip Hop Witch- This cracks me up. Da Hip Hop Witch, Yo!
24. Maniac Nurses Find Ecstasy- Again, Not a Porno.
and my personal favorite....
25. Doggy Poo- Yes, my friends...this is an animated film about a pile of shit. I kid you not.
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