Monday, January 02, 2006

Bring it On, 2006

I don't normally do resolutions. Really, what's the point?

However, a few things happened the last couple of days to make me start a mental list.
I thought I'd share:

1. Keep Husband Locked In House. - So, we went to our friend's house for New Years. With 2 kids and no real babysitter, it's nearly impossible to party. So, fine...we played poker with friends. And Martin drank some beer. Hell, he drank more than SOME beer. Seeing as how I was the "designated driver" and couldn't drink, I figured what harm could come from letting him get completely trashed on New Years?


Now, we live like literally a 2 minute drive from our friend's place. So, we leave their house, walk the 14 steps to our car, to get ready for the NANOSECOND drive home, and I hear Arianna say "DAAAAAD!!"

I turn around, and he's peeing. PEEING. In our friend's driveway. FACING the street. Oh, Sweet Jesus. Kill me now.

What the hell?? He can't use the restroom in the house WE JUST LEFT?? He can't hold it 'til we get home in 2.5 seconds???'s just easier to pee in the driveway.
Yeah, he's getting locked up in a room somewhere.

2. Look into why I insist on having a cat. - Our cat has worms. HOW does this happen?? No, really? He's an indoor cat. He doesn't have fleas. He sees no mice. He does not intermingle w/ other animal species. Yet, still he manages to get worms.

Now...there are 3 living species that truly gross me out. Spiders, ticks, and intestinal worms. *shudder* And I'm the only one that changes the litter box. This is a problem.

3. Limit the amount of TV my daughter watches. - Now, I understand the importance of the anti-drug commercials on stations such as Nick or Disney. However, after one of them airs, and your 5 year old daughter turns to look at you, and solemnly says "So, what exactly IS a joint?", I contest that there actually IS a time when it's TOO EARLY to talk to your kids about drugs!!

4. Hire someone else to talk to my daughter about the "birds and the bees". - This may send me to an early grave. Seriously. I can't handle this topic, yet. Especially when my 5 year old is "inspecting" herself after a shower, and says "So, what exactly does this pink thing do?" OH MY SWEET LORD!! NOOOOOO!!!!

Do they have people that can talk to your kids about things like this?? Because, I can't.


Can't do it.

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