Thursday, September 29, 2005

Can We Say OW??

Is it bad when your doctor looks at your nipples, and has this reaction?:

*Very Audible Sucking in of Breath* "Ooooooooh.....Yikes!"

You see, I am both breast feeding and bottle feeding Jack. Well, mainly bottle feeding, but at night and in the morning, it's breast feeding. You see, he sleeps w/ us, so it's much easier when he sorta wakes up at night to just pop in a boobie, and he's good to go. He sleeps through the night, I sleep through the night...ahhhh...all is well.

EXCEPT that Jack has thrush. I went to the doc and they prescribed this Nystatin stuff that is this sticky orange liquid i was supposed to squirt in his mouth. Worked great til it ran out. THEN his trush came back. So, I went to the health food store to get him some acidopholous. They told me to buy this infidus bifidus something-a-dus-or-other. So, I've been faithfully sticking that in his bottle. Thrush wasn't getting any better, but not worse either. THEN i do some research. Basically the bacteria i've been feeding him is for the Large Intestine. Acidopholous is something different, and for the small Intestine(and thrush and yeast infections). So, the bastards at the health food store made about 20 bucks off me for live bacteria that isn't helping Jack's thrush, but is probably making him poo really well. Anyhow, Long Story Short(er)....he still has thrush. I bought some acidopholous yesterday, and he's now getting that. the meantime, he passed the thrush to MY NIPPLES!!

This is NOT pleasant. It's like a diaper rash on your boobies. It does not feel good. So, i go to the doc. She prescribes the same stuff that Jack's doc prescribed for his mouth. The EXACT same stuff. So, I'm supposed to slather this sticky, orange junk on my nipples. I could probably jump on a wall, and stay there....stuck by my velcro.

Anyhow, I dutifully plaster this stuff on, and....


I have now just slathered my nipples in a nice, friendly dose of NAPALM!!!!

Holy cow, this hurts. It better friggen work.

Anyhow, my doc also prescribed birth control...right? So, she prescribes a "mini" pill, since i'm Breastfeeding (and can't take the normal pill). However, apparently, I'm not breastfeeding ENOUGH, and in her words, this pill "might not be THAT effective".

Um...not THAT effective? What the hell is that?? It's like "here this condom has a few holes in may or may not work. HAVE FUN!!"

Martin says he's never having sex again until he's had a vasectomy. I think I may agree with him there.

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