Damn that Mercury!!

I should never ask the question "what next??"

So, martin gets up off the computer, walks a couple feet, drops the cell phone, picks it up, walks another foot, and drops the cell again. At this point, I ask "what are you doing w/ the phone?"...but, i don't think i actually finished the sentance before HE falls on the floor.
I totally thought he was messing w/ me, trying to make me go into labor, or something, so I get up and kinda kick him, and he doesn't respond. So, I turn him over, and his arm is twitching, so I sorta start to panic and i hit him and he looks at me, and is all "what?" Then he's all "What am i doing on the floor?"

So, I say I don't know, why IS he on the floor, and he tells me his chest hurts. I can't find a pulse, but i'm horrible at finding them on arms, so I try on his neck, and i can't feel anything there, either...so, i just laid my hand on his chest to feel his heartbeat. It FEELS out of control, SUPER fast, but I thought maybe he was hyperventelating, or having an anxiety attack. I mean, we'd never heard of anyone in his family having any heart defects, other than like clogged arteries, but martin's only 26, so i wasn't really worried about that.
So, i think maybe he's just having heat stroke, too, so he goes to take a cold shower, and I run to the neighbor's to get an ice pack. He gets out of the shower, and is DEATHLY pale, and is all "I think i need to go to the hospital"

So, we go.

He's fully freaking out by the time we get there, in serious chest pain, and they shuttle him back to see the doc right after he checks in. They make me wait in the waiting room for about 10 minutes, and then the nurse comes out to get me, and pulls me into a little alcove to "talk" to me.

Uht-oh...

So, apparently, his heart rate was at 242!! This is an INSANE speed. Seriously. They were talking about it being the fastest they'd seen in a LONG time. Like Years. So, they had to give him some drug that essentially does the same thing as the shock paddles, and he actually was flat lined for about 3 seconds. Thing is, he was concious as he flat lined, so he heard the machine do the "beeeeeeeeeeeeeep" flat line noise, and was all "Oh FUCK!" Then the nurse was all "nonono...that's okay! It will be fine in a second!"

So, after hours and tests, we find out that he actually has a congenital heart defect, that has previously not manifested itself, and now he has to go see a cardiologist.
The heart works this way...there are these electrical "conduits" that go from the top of the heart, and send current down into the main chamber. These conduits have a little timer, essentially, on the end of them, that holds that current for a second, and gives the heart it's "bum....BUMP" rythym.

Apparently, martin has an extra conduit, and it doesn't have that timer. So, every once in a great moon, that conduit sends a current into the main chamber w/o the timing, and it screws up the rythym of the heart. Basically sends the whole thing into hyperdrive, w/o any real rythym.

Fun times.

And it turns out that i couldn't find his pulse, BECAUSE HE DIDN'T HAVE ONE!! Once the heart rate reaches around 250, there is no blood pressure. So, thus, no pulse.
Now, until he sees the cardiologist, and gets this thing fixed, he has to give up: caffiene, chocolate, Chinese food (MSG), smoking, alcohol, and has to stop stress, anxiety, and dehydration.

Um, ok.

He lives on Mt. Dew, smokes like a chimney, and it's been REALLY hot the last few days, and he has had MORE than ample reason to be stressed and anxious. So, basically, in the last week, he did everything on the doc's checklist of what NOT to do. So, he's so irritated he has to basically give up EVERYTHING, but I think this scared the crap out of him, so he'll do it.

He was so convinced he was going to die, i think. Either that, or they were going to have to crack his chest open.

The doc was semi-disappointed martin was concious, because they would've shock paddled him if he was unconcious, instead of administering the drug, and i guess they don't shock too many people at that little hospital. So, the doc was all "aww, MAN!" But, martin was all the topic of conversation. "242?? WOW!" I guess that's an impressive heart rate....

So, now i'm WIDE AWAKE. Talk about stress....